


Last Thought

by Tarlan



Series: Last Thought [1]
Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-08
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean's last thought as she drew her last breath gave Logan hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Thought

**Author's Note:**

> Written for MMoM 2011 Day 8

It was late by the time everyone had gone to sleep and Logan pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he made his way through the darkened corridors and out into the memorial garden. The flame still burned strong at the base of Xavier's grave marker but Logan's eyes were drawn to the two smaller monuments beside it. He crouched down and lovingly caressed Jean's name, recalling those last few moments when Jean had overpowered the Phoenix and pleaded for him to save her. In those last few seconds of clarity, the woman he loved had seen the magnitude of her crimes against the people she loved. Yet, with her last thought she had given him hope as she said, "Scott's alive."

Now, as he crouched beside her grave, he wished she could answer one question: Where? Where was Scott?

He breathed in and expelled the breath forcefully, turning his head to the grave sitting beside hers, knowing that it was empty, because they had not found anything beyond Scott's special visor, and even that had disintegrated in his hand. Until the battle at Alcatraz they had all assumed that she had killed Scott the same way that she had killed Xavier, tearing his body apart almost at the molecular level.

Several times over the past few days he had considered telling Storm about that last thought, but she had so much to deal with already following the climatic battle and the loss of Xavier. So he kept the knowledge to himself. He had packed a few provisions and planned to head out to Alkaline Lake, to where it had all started.

No one stopped him as he took a car from the bank of garages, driving off into the night. It took a while but finally he reached the shore, parking up close by so he could walk the rest of the way down to the lake shore. He recalled coming here with Storm, trying to find his way through a heavy fog until Storm used her powers to lift it, revealing a surreal world. Slowly, he made his way down to where they had found Jean but all the rocks had tumbled back to earth, no longer caught in Jean's gravity-defying control. There was nothing left here, and he could sense nothing else in the world around him.

"Scott," he whispered, and sank to his knees.

The hours passed slowly, leaving him lost in thought and in memory, thinking of the times they had shared--a triangle--except Logan hadn't realized that he held as much love for Scott as he had for Jean until he had lost them both. The sun went down and the moon rose, shedding a silvery light reflecting across the almost still water of the lake. In a few days it would be a full moon. Slumping momentarily, Logan sighed heavily before pushing to his feet. He went back to the car but returned with bedding and the means to make a fire. Collecting driftwood took very little time and he had the fire burning quite quickly. He settled down in front of it, staring into the flickering flames and wondered if he could have survived Scott's un-visored stare.

The fire burned hot and the night was already warm, so he stripped off a few layers and lay down on the bedding that he had spread out earlier. Above him the stars were bright, undimmed by the pollution in the cities and towns.

His hand strayed down his jeans, and he gave into the urge to find comfort in his own hand, unzipping his jeans and finding a slow but perfect rhythm. He kept Jean and Scott in his mind as he pleasured himself, but the image that brought him over that sweet edge was of Scott. The sense of loss hit him again and Logan howled at the moon in his grief before closing his eyes and letting sleep come.

In the morning he would begin the search...hoping that Jean's last thought wasn't just his mind fabricating the words he desperately wanted to hear. He had to believe that Scott was alive. He had to find him.

END


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